
COPYSGHT. 1889, BY HAROLD ROORBACH 



lloovbachs full Dr5,ril})tlbr Cat.llOQUr of Dramas. Comedies, Comediettas, Farces, 
Tableaux-vivants, Guide-books, Novel Entertainments for Church, School and Parlor 
Exhibitions, etc.. containing complete and explicit information, will be sent to any address 
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ROORBACK'S AMERICAN EDITION. 



PRICE, 15 CENTS EACH. 

This series embraces the best of plays,_ suited to the present time. The reprints have 
been rigidly compared with the original acting copies, so that absolute purity of 
text and stage business is warranted. Each play is furnished with an introductioii 
of the greatest value to the stage manager, containing the argument or synopsis of 
incidents, complete lists of properties and costumes, diagrams of the stage settings 
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somely printed froni new electrotype plates, in readable type, on fine paper. 
Their complete introductions, textual accuracy, and mechanical excellence render 
these books far superior in every respect to all editions of acting plays hitherto 
published. 

S. ALL THAT GLITTERS IS NOT GOLD. A comic drama in two acts. Six 
male, three female characters. Time, two hours. 

2. A SCRAP OF PAPER. A comic drama in three acts. Six male, six female 

characters. Time, two hours. 

3. MY LORD IN LIVERY. A farce in one act. Five male, three female charac- 

ters. Time, fifty minutes. 

4. CABMAN No. 93, A farce in one act. Two male, two female characters. 

Time, lortj'^ minutes. 

5. MILKY WHITE. A domestic drama in two acts. Four male, two female char- 

acters. Time, one hour and three quarters. 

6. PARTNERS FOR LIFE. A comedy in three acts. Seven male, four female 

characters. Time, two hours. 

7. WOODCOCK'S LITTLE GAME. A comedy-farce in two acts. Four male, 

four female characters. Time, one hour. 

8. HOW TO TAME YOUR, MOTHER-IN-LAW. A farce in one act. Four 

male, two female characters. Time, thirty-five minutes. 

9. LADY AUDLEY'S SECRET. A drama in two acts. Four male, three female 

characters. Time, one hour and a quarter. 

10. NOT SO BAD AFTER ALL. A comedy in three acts. Six male, five female 
characters. Time, one hour and forty minutes. 

11. WHICH IS WHICH ? A comedietta in one act. Three male, three female 
characters. Time, fifty minutes. 

12. ICI ON PARLE FRAN<JAIS. A fare* in one act. Three male, four female 
characters. Time, forty-five minutes. 

13. DAISY FARM. A drama in four acts. Ten male, four female characters. 
Time, two hours and twenty minutes. 

14. MARRIED LIFE. A comedy in thre«» acts. Five male, five female characters. 
Time, two hours. 

15. A PRETTY PIECE OF BUSINESS. A comedietta in one act. Two male, 
three female characters. Time, fifty minutes- 

16. LEND ME FIVE SHILLINGS. A farce in one act. Five male, two female 
cliaracters. Time, one hour. 

17. UNCLE TOM'S CABIN.— Original Version. A drama in six acts. Fifteen 
male, seven female characters. Time, three hours. 

18. UNCLE TOM'S CABIN.— New Version. A drama in five acts. Seven 
male, live female characters. Time, two hours and a quarter. 

19. LONDON ASSURANCE. A comedy in five acts. Ten male, three female 
characters. Time, two hours and three quarters. 

20. ATCHI ! A comedietta in one act. Three male, two female characters. Time, 
forty minutes. 

21. VVHO IS W^HO ? A farce in one act. Three male, twa female characters. 
Time, forty minutes. 

32. THE WOVEN WEB. A drama in four acts. Seven male, three female char- 
acters. Time, two hours and twenty minutes. 

}^^~Any 0/ the above ivill be sent by Jtiail^ j>ost-paid^ to any address^ on receipt 
0/ the price. 

HAROLD R00R3ACH, Publisher, 9 Murray St., New York. 



^ OLD CRONIES 



A COMEDIETTA IN ONE ACT 
FOR TWO MALE CHARACTERS 

BY / 

S. THEYRE SMITH 



New American Edition, Correctly Reprinted f^om th^^^^' 
GiNAL Authorized Acting Edition, with the Original 
Cast of the Characters, Argument of the Flay, 
Time of Representation, Description of the 
Costumes. Scene and Property Plots. Dia- 
gram of the Stage Setting, Sides of 
Entrance and Exit, Relative Posi- 
tions OF THE Performers, Expla- 
nation OF THE Stage Direc- 
tions, ETC., AND ALL OF 
THE Stage Business. 



Copyright, 1890, by Harold Roorbach. 






NEW YORK 

HAROLD ROORBACH 

PUBLISHER 



4 OLD CRONIES. 

PROPERTIES. 

Furniture as per scene-plot. Writing case with papers, books, writing, 
materials, etc., on table. Books on shelf L. Telegram to be handed in 
from window. Pipe, matches and money for Pigeon. 

SCENE PLOT AND STAGE SETTING. 

Garden Bncking 

Windi 



Door 




J 




Table & Chairs 



Scene. — Plain interior (study) boxed in 3 g, backed with garden drop 
in 4 G. Window R. F. and fireplace L. F, Bookshelves around walls. 
Door R. 2 E. Chairs R. and l. of fireplace. Table and two chairs down 
c. Carpet down. 

N. B. All scenery may be, and frequently is, entirely dispensed with, 
the representation taking place on a mere platform, or behind a folding- 
door opening. 

STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

In observing, the performer is supposed to face the audience. R., means 
right; L., left; c, centre; r. c, right of centre ; l. c, left of centre; D. 
F., door in the flat or back scene ; r, f., right side of the flat ; l. f., left 
side of the flat; R. D., right door; L. D., left door; I E., first entrance ; 2 
E., second entrance; u. e., upper entrance ; i, 2, or 3 g., first, second or 
third grooves ; UP STAGE, toward the back ; down stage, toward the 
footlights. 

R. R. C, C. L. C. L. 



Note. — The text of this play is correctly reprinted from the original 
authorized acting edition, without change. The introduction has been 
carefully prepared by an expert, and is the only part of this book pro- 
tected by copyright. 




OLD CRONIES. 

Scene. — A study; bookshelves all round room; library ladder 
against bookcase, l.; large windoiv in back wall; door, R. ; writ- 
ing case with papers, books, writing materials, &'c., in front; Dr. 
Jacks discovered seated at table engaged in literary work. 

Jacks. Oh ! these derivations ! Dictionary making would be 
comparatively easy work if it were not for these verbal genealogies. 
When, like Dr. Faustus, I've made a word dance out of England 
into France, out of France into Spain, it whips over the border 
into Arabic, flings off its article and stares me in the face with 
scarcely a Christian letter left in it to know it by ; or, after pursu- 
ing another through a dozen different disguises, it slips from under 
my fingers into that Alsatia of a Sanscrit, where my powers to 
follow it end. [rises arid comes to i.. H.) Oh, these derivations ! and 
yet there is a pleasure in lexicographical pains that only lexico- 
graphers know, and then the glory of it ! Jacks Dictionary of the 

English Language. What a proud [at window) Who's that 

coming up the walk? Pigeon! Captain Pigeon, with his ever- 
lasting pipe ! [crosses to R. of table and sits) Oh ! dear me ! Now 
I did hope to have had this morning undisturbed. Oh ! dear, 
dear! He'll come, and he'll sit down in that easy chair by the 
fire, and there he'll remain suggesting the most eccentric deriva- 
tions till my brain whirls ! [clutching his broiv) Oh ! dear, dear ! 
(Enter Captain Pigeon, knocking out his pipe as he comes in) Ah, 
Pigeon, how d'ye do ? So glad to see you ! [offering hand) 

Pigeon. Stop! Wait! Stand off! If I am disturbing the diction- 
ary, say so, and I (l. c.) am gone like a lost derivation. If I am 
interrupting the current of your ideas, speak, and by gad, sir I 
exit Pigeon as though out of a trap, sir ! Not but what I have been 
of some assistance to you before now. Eh? I have suggested 
some novelties in derivation that would startle previous lexico- 
graphers. 

Jacks. Certainly, certainly ; but My dear friend, is it busi- 
ness or pleasure that brings you? If I can do anything for you, 



6 OLD CRONIES. 

my time is yours, but if this is a mere morning call, a mere — 
[absently) By the way "mere," "mere," Latin " merus — " [tak- 
i7ig up pen and making note) 

Pigeon, (c.) "Mere" — a pool — a piece of water. French, 
" Mer " — Latin, "Mare" — Greek, — polly — something. (Jacks 
clutches his brow and stares wildly) Connection clear enough. But 
the fact is, my dear Jacks, I would not have disturbed you for the 
world, but I — I had something I — I wished to 

Jacks. Oh! you wish to consult me. That's another thing — 
that's enough — no more words. The dictionary can wait. I 
won't be such a hypocrite as to say that I — [absently) Hum! 
" Hypocrite ! " " Hypocrite ! " Greek — evidently [taking pen) 

Pigeon. "Hypocrite!" Greek, of course. "Hippos" — a 
horse, and "Krites," a judge. (Jacks seises his brow and stares) 
Because the horsey men among the old Greeks were such a con- 
founded set of deceivers. Legs, sir, mere legs. Clear as 
crystal ! 

Jacks, Oh, dear ! oh, dear! That's quite a new derivation, 
Pigeon. I don't think it can be right, but 

Pigeon. Right ! Right as the mail, sir. But, now, if you can 
give me two minutes. 

Jacks. As long as you like, my dear friend. Let us hear what 
it is. Come, draw your chair up. We old bachelors like to be 
comfortable, eh? [co?nes to R. C.) What's the matter? 

Pigeon, [with a strange laugh) Oh ! nothing, nothing, only 
[laughs again) you said — Bachelors — ha! ha ! [back to fire) 

Jacks. Yes; why not? "Bachelor" from the Saxon " Bach- 
iler " 

Pigeon. Saxon! not at all. " Bachelor ! " from " Baculus" — a 
stick : dry wood, sir ; only good to burn, sir ; no use to posterity. 
Pah! . 

Jacks, [with his usual agonized perplexity) Oh ! dear me ! 

That's quite contrary to the received Oh, dear me ! But — 

but, my dear Pigeon — are you well ? You seem strangely excited 
this morning. Do you feel at all queer in the head. Pigeon, or 
anything ? 

Pigeon. Clear as a silver bell, sir. Clear as the brow of 
Beauty. Clear as 

Jacks. But why this figurative style, my friend, so unlike your 
ordinary phraseology ? Come ! you have something to com- 
municate to me. Come, now, what is it? [sitsR. of fire) 

Pigeon. Well, to tell you the truth, I — the fact is — well, you'll 
laugh at me, I know, but I don't care. Laugh on, laugh on. Con- 
found it, sir ; laugh on. [sits L. of fire) 

Jacks. But what am I to laugh at? 

Pigeon. Eh? Oh, true! Well, the fact is — ha, ha! I'm— I'm 
in love I 



OLD CRONIES. 7 

Jacks. In what ? 

Pigeon, [hotly) In love, sir— I've fallen in love. 

Jacks. You? At your— No, I don't mean that. But fallen in 
love ! You ! 

Pigeon. Why not? [in a voice of thunder) Haven t I as much 
right to whisper soft nothings— haven't I as much right to bill and 
coo as 

Jacks. Certainly, certainly— no one more so, Pigeon. I am very 

glad to hear of it. No, I don't mean that, but Well ! And 

who is the lady ? Come ! I congratulate you with No, no. I 

don't mean that, but Now, who is it? 

Pigeon. Well— ha, ha ! What do you say to Miss Jones ? 

Jacks. Say ! [takitig his hand and shaking it warmly) That I 
offer you my sincerest — ah, which ? 

Pigeon. Why, the eldest. 

Jacks, [continuing the interrupted shake) My very sincerest— 
hum! Which Jones's eldest? . 

Pigeon. Why, Caradoc Jones's eldest daughter, Ohvia, of 
course ; vou talk as if there were no end of Jones's. 

Jacks. 'Olivia Jones! I've known her all her life. Dear me! 
Olivia Jones ! I wish you joy, my dear Pigeon ; a very suitable 
person, I daresay. 

Pigeon. A suitable person ! Jacks, what prose you do talk ! 
[rise and go L.) I should have thought that if there was one living 
creature to whom the term "suitable person " would be inappro- 
priate it was Olivia Jones. Suitable person ! 

Jacks. I beg pardon— I beg pardon— but you know I always was 
very matter of fact— very prosy— I never could see the poetical 
side of marriage. 

Pigeon. How should you when you've always kept on the 
bachelor's side of it? • , j 

Jacks, [comes down) But that, I've heard, is the poetical side of 
it. He ! he ! But well ! and has she said yes? 

Pigeon, (c.) I haven't asked her yet— and that's just the point I 
wished to consult vou upon. 

Jacks. Oh! I see. Ah! well then I think, altogether, I— I 
wouldn't. 

Pigeon. You wouldn't what? 

Jacks. Wouldn't ask her. 

Pigeon. But how am I to marry her if I don't ask her ? 

Jacks, [slyly) But if you don't ask her, you needn't marry 
her. 

Pigeon. But I want to marry her : I mean to marry her 

if she'll have me. What I wanted to ask you was, whether you 
think I had better propose to her by letter or by word of mouth. 
See? 



8 OLD CRONIES. 

Jacks. Oh ! ah, yes; I understand ; just so. Well, I should say, 
verbally. 

Pigeon. Verbally, you think ? 

Jacks. Yes, 1 think so. Yes, I'm sure ; verbally, certainly ! 

Pigeon, {uneasily) Why do you think verbally. Jacks? 

Jacks. Well, 1 think it is paying a poor compliment to the lady, 
and says httle for the eagerness of your passion if you can calmly 
sit down, write your offer, seal it, put a stamp on it, post it, and 
then wait a day or two for the answer. Moreover, there is noth- 
in so painful as suspense. Now, if you make your proposal in 
person, you have the presence of your idol to inspire you, the 
sense of touch to assist you ; you speak, she consents, and you 
know the worst at once. Oh ! verbally, certainly. 

Pigeon. But — but I daren't. 

Jacks. You 

Pigeon. Well, I daren't. Don't I speak distinctly ? 

Jacks. Yes — yes — but what I mean is — I can't fancy you fear- 
ing anything. In spite of your name you are such an eagle in a 
dovecot. Pigeon, that I should have thought you could have 
looked the sun in the face without winking. 

Pigeon. So I can, sir ; I can look anything male in the face 
without winking. But, when it's a woman I look at — gad, sir, then 
I wink if you hke. Then it's another thing. A breath terrifies 
me — a frown would kill me. If I were to speak to her and she 
should — No— 'pon my sacred honor ! No, I daren't. 

Jacks. Well, if you can't do it that way, then 1 should advise — 
by letter, {sits l. of table) 

Pigeon. By letter, you think ? 

Jacks. Yes — I think so. On the whole — yes. 

Pigeon, [tineasily) Why do you think by letter. Jacks? 

Jacks. Well, I think it argues more respect towards the lady of 
your choice to express your sentiments for her in that way, than to 
rush brutally into her drawing-room, seize her hand, plump on to 
your knees, and set off talking all manner of nonsense about sigh- 
ing and dying, and raptures and blisses, and all the rest of it. 
Besides, you know, it ratherforces her hand. It's always harder 
to refuse a verbal invitation than a written one. Yes, I should say 
by letter, certainly. 

Pigeon. But — but — I can't! 

Jacks. You ? 

Pigeon. Well, I can't. Don't you hear what I say? I've tried 
and I can't write a word. Ah! my dear fellow, if you'd only 
write the letter for me. 

Jacks. My dear Pigeon, I'd write it with delight if I could ; but, 
to tell you the truth, it's a sort of literature that I have had no 
experience of. I never — I never wrote a love letter in my life. 

Pigeon. You could do it right enough, if you'd only try. 



OLD CRONIES. 9 

Jacks. My dear friend, I'll try — I'll try certainly if you wish ii; 
but — well, I 11 try. [gets paper, ^r^c.) Let me see. [beginning to 

write) Your address, Blue Rocks, Billingborough, April the 

[pauses) 

Pigeon. Well, the first, isn't it ? Go on. 

Jacks. Yes, but I thought perhaps you mightn't like — but, oh, if 
you don't mind, [writes) April the ist, eighteen hundred 

Pigeon. Here, stop, stop ! I don't think that date will do. 

Jacks. You think not ? 

Pigeon, [c, by fire) No, it seems like — it looks — hang it! people 
are such fools. No ; let us date it March 31st, as if I had written 
it overnight. 

Jacks. Yes, and then there will be a good reason why you were no 
■wiser next morning. No, no, I don't mean that. Let us go on, 
then. Yes, yes, [writes) March 31st, eighteen Now then. 

Pigeon. Heave ahead ! [back to fire) 

Jacks. Aye, aye, sir. [a long and thoughtful pause , during which 
Jacks makes one or two demonstrations, as if he were on the point of 
beginning to write and then checks himself) How — how do you 
think we ought to address her ? 

Pigeon. Well, that's just what I was thinking of. [another pause, 
and then] KQ.]fJS, dashes at the paper and writes a word) Now he's 
off. [rubbing his hands and watching Jacks, who after writing the 
word is merely leaning over the paper and thinking deeply) How far 
have you got? 

Jacks. Why — ha I ha ! Well — he ! he ! So far I have only 
written — " Madam." 

Pigeon. By Jove ! you haven't got far I I shall never be married 
at this rate. Besides, "Madam!" I don't think "Madam" 
will do! 

Jacks. H'm? 

Pigeon. Well, I don't think "Madam" will do, it's so blessed 
formal. 

Jacks. Perhaps it is a little formal, but if it's not to be " xMadam," 
what is it to be ? 

Pigeon, [back of table, sheepishly) I suppose you'd think " Angel 
of beauty," or "Angel of " 

Jacks. Oh! my dear friend, I couldn't — I really couldn't. 
Angel ! No — no — angel's much too high flown. We should 
never be able to keep it up. No — no — no — I couldn't — I — Come, 
what do you say to " Dear Miss Jones?" 

Pigeon. That's too much like an invitation to dinner, [sits R. 
of table) Pitch it a httle stronger than that. Jacks. Here, now : 
how would " Dearest Olivia" do ? 

Jacks, [in a tone of remonstrance) My dear friend! I don't 
think she'd like it. 

Pigeon. Not like what ? 



lO OLD CRONIES. 

Jacks. Well, the Christian name and the — the superlative. I'm 
afraid she'd think it forward. 

Pigeon. Forward! But hang it all, forward's the word when 
one makes advances. 

Jacks. Perhaps ; but I don't think I could countenance such 
a 

Pigeon, [angrify) Then what the plague are we to put? 

Jacks. That is the point — that, no doubt, is the point. How 
would — no— or what if we — no — I have it. [both rise) 

Pigeon, [laying down pen) What is it ? 

Jacks. Suppose we have a walk round the garden and think it 
over for a moment in the fresh air? 

Pigeon. Ah, good thought ! we might put a flower in. 

Jacks. In where ? 

Pigeon. Why, in the envelope. 

Jacks. What for? 

Pigeon. What for? Asa symbol of affection, sir — a dehcate 
hint that I'm there. 

Jacks. Oh, I see ! a Bachelor's Button or a sprig of Old Man. 
He ! he I Eh? No, no, I don't mean that. Come, let us con- 
sider now. [taking his arm and walking towards window) What 
we want is something that combines strong affection and profound 
respect, some thing 

Pigeon. Hold ! I have it — the very combination. What do 
you say to " My dearest Miss Jones," eh ? 

Jacks. I don't think I'd put " My." 

Pigeon, (c.) Why not? It gives more value to "dearest," 
don't you see? 

Jacks, (l. c.) Yes, but dontyou see? It begs the whole ques- 
tion 

Pigeon. Not at all. 

Jacks. Oh, excuse me! "My" implies possession. Now, till 
she says "Yes" 

Pigeon. Nothing of the sort. "My dearest" only means 
"dearest to me" — me. Pigeon ! 

Jacks. No, no, indeed, it means "your dearest" and no one 
else's dearest ; it claims a right of property. 

Pigeon, [violently) I tell you 

Jacks, [crosses and sits L. of table) Well, well, we need not dis- 
pute about so small a thing — " my dearest " be it. So now for it. 
[writes) 

Pigeon, [leaning over him) Ay, now we're off at last. (r. C. ) 
Now we're Do you make your M's that way ? 

Jacks, [a little annoyed) Yes, I do ! 

Pigeon. I don't think you should make your M's that way when 
you write to a lady. 

Jacks. Now my excellent friend, when you copy it out you can 



OLD CRONIES. II 

make your M's how you like. And I should write your letter 
with more comfort to myself, Pigeon, if you would not blow down 
my neck. 

Pigeon. I wasn't blowing down your neck, but do get on. What 
have you put a full stop there for.^ 

Jacks, [rather irritably) I've not put a full stop. 

Pigeon. What is it then ? 

Jacks. Why, a comma, of course. But really, my dear friend, I 
can't write if you breath into my ear in this way. Though I'm 
sadly in want of inspiration, I confess, yet it's not that sort I 
require. 

Pigeon. What touchy things these old bachelors are, {crosses to 
L.) bless my soul! Sorry — can't say more than that — sorry. 
Come now, we've got over the difficulty. Now then, " My dearest 
Miss Jones." It's all plain saihng now. Get to work ! 

Jacks, {getting to work) Y^s — " My dearest Miss Jones" — a — 
a — Yes, now we're in full cry. "My dearest Miss Jones " — a 

Pigeon. Yes — go on. 

Jacks. Yes. I'm going. "My dearest Miss Jones," — a — 
[cautiously) " I love you," eh? 

Pigeon. No, hang it — that's too abrupt! 

Jacks. Think it is.-* 

Pigeon, [back of table) Gad, yes! You shouldn't plunge into it 
like that. What you want is a gentle descent. See? 

Jacks. Facilis descensus, eh ? Ha ! ha ! No— no — I don't mean 
that, of course. What sort of 

Pigeon. Well, a gentle descent, [action of hand) 

Jacks. Yes, yes. I know. A — [action of hand) di gentle descent.. 
But what sort of a 

Pigeon. Well, can't you say something about a — a — [pauses in 
thought. Sits R. of table) 

Jacks. How if we begin by — you know — [a pause) 

Pigeon. Or ask her whether she — whether she — See? 

Jacks. It's an exceedingly difficult letter to write. 

Pigeon, [wrathfully) It's a pernicious difficult letter to write. 
It's a — Stop ! I've an idea. 

Jacks. Have you? What? 

Pigeon. Let's direct the envelope. 

Jacks. Oh, my dear Pigeon, what excellent notions you have ! 
Capital ; perhaps it may suggest something. But you must do 
that. 

Pigeon. I know, sir. Give me the pen. 

Jacks, [goes to back of table) Here it is. [rubbing his hands 
and watching him) Now we're really advancing. Yes, Miss 
L I V 

Pigeon. Well, well, I know, sir! 

Jacks. Just so. [looking over him) "Jones." Yes. JON E . 



12 OLD CRONIES. 

' Pigeon. Why, confound it, do you suppose I can't spell Jones? 

Jacks. Of course, my dear friend ; of course you can. 

Pigeon. I suppose I can. " lo, Parade, Cooington." There 
you are ! 

Jacks. Ah! [regarding envelope adjiiiringly) This is indeed pro- 
gress ! [sits L. of table) 

Pigeon. Well, now, come along ! To return to the letter. 
Where had we got to? 

Jacks. Oh! Ah! let me see. [reads) " My dearest Miss Jones." 

Pigeon. Ah ! of course. Well ! how do we go on ? 

Jacks. [thoughtfi{lly) Yes, that's the point. That's the 

Pigeon. Couldn't you — couldn't you begin by saying something 
about her health ? 

Jacks. Why, is there anything the matter with her? 

Pigeon, [irritably) No, I don't know that anything' s the matter 
with her ! 

Jacks. Then why refer to her health ? 

Pigeon. Well, I was only wanting to begin somehow. 

Jacks. True ! true ! It is, as you say, a perniciously difficult let- 
ter to write. 

Pigeon. It's a confounded difficult letter to write. There ought 
to be books or something to tell you how to do these things. 

Jacks, [points L. ; Pigeon crosses to l.) Dear me, of course. 
That reminds me. I've got the very book up there ! What to Da 
in Eve?y Case. Don't you see? [pointing) Between the — no — 
there ! The next thing to Johnsoji s Madness. No, no — the other 
way — just before you come to Tears of Repentance. 

Pigeon, [reaching it dow?i) Strange situation for a book on 
matrimony ! Now, what shall I look for ? 

Jacks. Look for " Proposal." 

Pigeon. P — "Pickles." Pro — Pro — Proverbs — " Marry in haste, 

and " oh ! confound the thing ! Prop — Prop — " How to Prop 

French Beans " — Prop — " Proposal." Here you are I 

Jacks. Read it out. 

Pigeon, [reads) " Form of letter containing a proposal of mar- 
riage by a young gentleman to a young lady." 

Jacks. Then that won't do. 

Pigeon, [snappishly) Why not? 

Jacks. Well, my dear friend, no one has a higher appreciation 
of your many excellent qualities of mind and heart than I have, 
but still it is not within the power of friendship to consider you a 
young gentleman. Come — come — don't be offended. Proceed ! 
look whether there is not some form adapted for such as are of 
riper years. 

Pigeon, [reads surlily) " From a gentleman of middle age to a 
lady of contemporaneous condition." I believe the idiot's poking 
fun at us! " Madam." 



OLD CRONIES. 1 3 

Jacks. I told you so ! 

Pigeon. Don't be in a hurry — " or, dear Madam — or, dear Miss 
or Mrs. — or, dearest Miss or Mrs., according to the previous 
famiharity of the parties." — What does he mean by that, the 
fool? " It is with fingers " 

Jacks. Eh ? 

Pigeon, [irritably] Well, that's what he says, "It is with fin- 
gers " he says. 

Jacks. What "is with fingers?" 

Pigeon. Well, if you'll let me go on, perhaps we shall find out. 
"It is with fingers that can scarce hold the pen, and with a heart 
palpitating with all soft emotions that I indite these lines to her, 
whose maiden charms" — (Note: In case of a widow omit 
"maiden") — "have so moved my soul to all sweet impulses of 
love and respect" — (Note : In case of a widow omit "respect") 
— "that I feel my life's happiness depends upon your granting 

what I now with all impatience yet all ceremony^ " (Note: In 

case of a widow omit " all ceremony ") What lunatic rubbish is 
this? Bah! Sooner than send such a letter as that I'll die a 
bachelor ! [puts book in case) 

Jacks. Yes; I'm afraid that would scarcely do. To say the 
truth, it reads rather extravagantly. Well, my dear friend, I 
really don't know what to suggest. 

Pigeon, (c.) Humph I What's the use of being a dictionary- 
maker if you can do no more with all your words than this 1 don't 
know. Here you've all the words in the language at your finger 
ends, and not a blessed one of them will work. 

Jacks. Because it is a duty to which I am not accustomed to 
put them, my worthy friend. I can't feel the situation. I have 
no thoughts on the subject, you see, and there can't be language 
without thought. 

Pigeon. Can't thQxe'? [turning to letter) Plague take it. If we 
could only get over this prolegomena iDusiness we might put it 
plumply : Saw you — loved you — offer hand, heart, fortune. Yes 
or no? 

Jacks. My dear Pigeon ! that's just like a telegram. 

Pigeon. By Jove ! the very thing. Let's wire it ! 

Jacks. Let's what it? 

Pigeon. Wire it— telegraph it. Come, get a fresh piece of paper 
and draw up the telegram ; there will be no difficulty about that, 
at any rate. Be quick, we can get the answer in five minutes, 
for they never have much business on these wires. 

Jacks, [preparing paper) Well, ha ! ha! It's a new idea cer- 
tainly. Telegraph a proposal — ha ! ha ! [writes) From Joseph 
Pigeon, Blue Rocks 

Pigeon. No, stop! Give this address; we'll have the answer 
here. 



14 OLD CRONIES. 

Jacks. Very well, Auburn Lodge, Billingborough, to Miss Olivia 
Jones 

Pigeon. lo, Parade, Cooington. 

Jacks. Let me see ; "much pressed for time, forgive mode of 
communication." 

Pigeon. Hold on. Say "much hurried" instead of "much 
pressed for time." Keep within the shilling, old man, if you can. 

Jacks. Very well. " Have loved you long." 

Pigeon. No, I wouldn't say "have loved you long," for I have 
not loved her more than a fortnight. 

Jacks. We can't say " have loved you a fortnight," though, can 
we? 

Pigeon. I suppose not. 

Jacks. A fortnight's a good long time to keep it up. I think I'd 
let it go. 

Pigeon. Very well, and perhaps I did love her long before I 
knew it. 

Jacks. " Beg to offer hand, heart, fortune." 

Pigeon. Cut out "heart," it's not needed. 

Jacks. It is usually mentioned among the other items, I fancy, 
but perhaps it is the least important, {crosses it out) " Please reply 
instantly." 

Pigeon. " Answer prepaid." Hang it all, I'll do the handsome 
thing while I'm about it. 

Jacks. Very well, [counts) Let me see. Twenty exactly. 

Pigeon. That's right. I like to have my money's worth, {with 
feeling) Jacks, I think the " answer prepaid" ought to touch her. 
Eh? 

Jacks. Pigeon, it will surely affect her deeply ! 

Pigeon. Now, then, where's your man? Watson! 

Jacks. I think he is in the garden. I'll call him. [opening win- 
dow and speaking tJuvugh it) Watson ! Here ! Take this at once 
to the telegraph office, it's only two doors off, you know. Pay for 
the message and the reply — two shillings. 

Pigeon. Here's the money. []acv.s takes it and hands it out of 
window, then closes window) I don't mind about it, of course, but, 
ha ! ha ! ha ! it's rather hard my having to pay for what she says, 
after all. {sits R. of fire) 

Jacks, {sits L. of fire) Ah ! my dear friend, it will be money well 
laid out if she says no. If she don't, why you must be pre- 
pared to pay for a good many things that you never paid for 
before. Wives are costly articles, you must recollect. 

Pigeon. I don't see why they should be, then ; for they say the 
supply exceeds the demand. And then there's the — ha ! ha ! — 
the fifteen hundred a year, you know. 

Jacks. What fifteen hundred a year ? 



OLD CRONIES. 1 5 

Pigeon. Why, her mother's fortune, which comes to her. What 
are you staring at? Isn't it fifteen hundred ? 

Jacks. My dear Pigeon, she has nothing in the way of inde- 
pendent fortune at all. 

Pigeon. I was assured it was fifteen hundred pounds if it was a 
farthing ! 

Jacks. Perhaps; but — but it isn't a farthing ! 

Pigeon. Then what liars people are ! Now, are you certain ? 

Jacks. Certain! My dear friend, I know her whole family. I've 
known the girl herself for forty years. 

Pigeon, [angrily; ligJits his pipe) You can't have known her for 
forty years, for I heard her say herself not a week ago that she 
should be five-and-thirty if she hved till her next birthday. 

Jacks. My excellent Pigeon, she'll never be five-and-thirty, if 
she lives till she's a hundred. 

Pigeon. Well, what if she is forty ; why shouldn't she be forty 
if she likes ? 

Jacks. Of course. Every reason why she should be, though she 
doesn't like, he ! he ! By-the-way, hum ! — That's — hum ! — that's 
rather unpleasant for you though. But, of course, you're prepared 
to give up something ? 

Pigeon, [furiously) I'll give up nothing. I declare most 
solemnly I'll give up — hum ! Now what do you mean ? 

Jacks. A mere trifle, a mere trifle ! Nothing but that she 
strongly objects to smoking. 

Pigeon, [horrified) Objects to what ? 

Jacks. Yes, she can't Ijear the smell of tobacco. 

Pigeon. But hang it, sir! I can't live without smoking. 

Jacks. Exactly, that's what I meant by saying it would be so 
unpleasant for you. 

Pigeon. Unpleasant ! Well, I think you might have told me all 
this before. 

Jacks. But, my dear friend 

Pigeon. I won't give it up. It isn't as if I were a great smoker 
like some men. 

Jacks. Aren't you ? I thought — Surely, yes. 

Pigeon. Nothing of the sort. What do I smoke ? Just one pipe 
when I'm dressing 

Jacks. Oh, dear! dear! though. 

Pigeon, [back to fire) And two or three after breakfast, and 
three or four after luncheon, and then dinner, and then I smoke 
till I go to bed, and have just half a one in bed to keep my nose 
warm for the night. 

Jacks. Half a pipe to keep your nose warm ! But, my excellent 
Pigeon, no woman in the world would permit it ! 

Pigeon. Permit it ! Confound their permissions, sir ! [rises, R. C. ; 
after walking the room impatiently for a iniuute) Jacks, by-the-way, 



1 6 OLD CRONIES. 

that telegram. Bless my soul ! Is there time to recall it, do you 
think ? 

Jacks, (m^j, L. C.) No, it's at Cooingtonby this time. But why 
should we recall it ? What, do you regret already that you 

Pigeon, [angrily) Nothing of the sort, sir, but— hem ! But don't 
you see, we've gone and offered her marriage and never said a 
word about her beauty ? See 1 

Jacks. My dear friend, it couldn't be done for the money. If 
we had once begun praising her, I must tell you that I don't think 
she'd have been satisfied with a shillingsworth. Besides — her 
beauty ! Come ! Honestly now, my dear Pigeon : do you think 
her handsome ? 

Pigeon. Handsome ! Why, don't you ? 

Jacks. Well : No, Pigeon ; I certainly do not. And then, her 
figure ! 

Pigeon. Don't you talk about a woman's figure, an old bachelor 
like you, who scarcely know her waist from her shoulders. 

Jacks. And if I do not know a woman's waist from her shoulders. 
Captain Pigeon, it is from my own modesty of observation, and 
not from her lack of liberality in affording me the opportunity of 
acquiring that knowledge. 

Pigeon. Bah, sir! Choose some other subject for your satire 
till you have learnt the difference between the body of a dress and 
the sleeves. 

Jacks, [severely) Sir! [then thoughtfully) Stop! "Body." 
" Body *' — of a dress ; from the Saxon " Bodig" 

Pigeon. Nothing of the sort, sir. "Body" of a dress ! Comes 
from — hem ! — from " Bodice," which comes from — from Boadicea ; 
lucus a non lucendo, because she never wore one. 

Jacks, [with a stare of hon'ified perplexity) Hold my head! hold 

my But it can't be. I shall have to get a season ticket for the 

nearest asylum. Pigeon, if you go on in that way. Oh ! thank 
goodness, here's Watson, [hastily, and going to windo%v) Can't be 
the telegram already, surely ! [opening window) Here! Watson! 
Is that the telegram ? Give it me. Why, it's addressed to me. 
[opens it) Heyday ! from Caradoc Jones himself. 

Pigeon, [who has joined him; impatiently) Well, well? What 
does she say ? 

Jacks. She says nothing. This is from her father. You had 
better — Here, [giving telegram) 

Pigeon, [reads) "Accepted Major Bubble, of the Greens, this 
morning." [after a pause) Oh ! ... Oh ! (folding telegram and 
returning it to Jacks) Ah ! Major Bubble. Eh ? Bubble, is it ? 
Oh ! [very quietly) 

Jacks. You must bear up, my dear friend. 

Pigeon. I shall bear up or not as I think proper, sir. Whether I 
bear up or bear down is my affair, I suppose, sir. 



OLD CRONIES. 



17 



ii 



Jacks. Of course, Pigeon, of course. All I meant was you must 
not suffer this disap . 

Pigeon. Suffer, sir ! there's no suffering about it. Do you sup- 
pose that I would regret a woman who could feel any interest in 
such a gander-legged, pig-faced swab of a son of a sea-cook as 
that Bubble, sir ? Why, I'd blow a better man than him out of a 
basin of soap-suds with a tobacco pipe. Bubble, is it? Ha ! ha ! 
Bubble eh! Well, my bubble's burst ; and who cares? Egad! 1 
think I'm well out of it. Hang your married men! We 11 stick 
to single blessedness, old man, eh ?— still remain old Bachelors 
and 

Both. Old Cronies, {shaking hands) 

CURTAIN. 




NEW PLAYS. 



PRICE, 15 CENTS EACH. , . 

MURDER WILL OUT. A farce in one act, for six female characters; by I,. M. 
Elwyn. Time of playing, 30 miiuiles. A breezy and effective farce, in which 
half a dozen briyht girls can delight an audience with lialf an hoiir of innocent 
fun. Grandmother Stiles, and her demure but frolicsome grand-daughter, are 
excellent characters ; Z)/«rt/«, the colored cook, is amusing, and Bridget O Flaherty 
is a funny Irish girl — her quarrels with Dinah being exceeduigly laughable. The 
attempts of Letia and her merry friends, May and Minnie, to hoodwink the old 
lady, and tlicir final exposure, will keep the audience in a roar of laughter. 

OLD CRONIES. A comedietta in one act, for two male characters, by S. Theyre 
Smith. Time of playing, 30 minutes. This is an unusually bright and clever 
little play, in which a couple of comedians can furnish a half-hour of pure, 
unrestricted fun. Dr. Jacks, t'le mild-mannered old gentleman, is in happy 
contrast with Ca/>t. Pigeon, a bluff, gruff and noisy old sea officer. Both are 
excruciatingly funny, and their sorrowful attempt to write a joint-stock love 
letter is one of the richest bits of humor ever presented. Old Cronies will prove 
a most acceptable afterpiece, and, if at all well done, can not fail to send the 
audience home in good humor. 

APRIL FOOLS. A farce in one act, for three male characters, by W. F. Chai'- 
IMAN. Time of playing, 30 minutes. For a half-hour of roaring fun this farce has 
few equals. It is brisk, bright, and full of highly humorous situations. The 
characters are exceedingly well drawn — the nervous Mr. Diinnbroivne forming a 
marked contrast to the loud James Smith, and both differing widely from the 
sad and sorrowful Joseph Smith. Each imagines that the others are foolish, 
crazy or drunk. There are laughable blunders and side-splitting complications. 
' Misunder.-tandings follow one another in rapid succession, and the mystery grows 
deeper and still deeper. Finally, when everybody gets into a hopeless tangle, it 
is discovered that all three are victims of a practical joker, who has made them 
"April Fools." 

MISS MADCAP. A comedietta in one act, by Charles Townsend, for two male 
and one female characters. Time of playing, 20 minutes. This bright and 
breezy little play sparkles like champagne, and is just the thing for a curtain- 
raiser or an afterpiece. The story is well told, and the characters are well drawn. 
The youth who pretends to be a " tough," the young man who pretends to be a 
" dude," and the young lady who pretends to be a " tomboy," all give scope for 
excellent acting. The piece has been played with pronounced success under the 
author's management. 

THE DARKEY WOOD DEALER. A farce in one act, by Charles Townsend, 
for two male and one female characters. Time of playing, 20 minutes. A 
roiring farce in this author's happiest vein, totally unlike the ordinary "Ethi- 
opian" plays. Each character is first-class. The "wood-dealer," beyond doubt, 
is one of the best negro parts on the stage. The Deacon is a highly-amusing 
old man, and Mrs. Deacon (this part may be played by a young man), a tremen- 
doushit as a "strong-minded" female. This farce is certain to keep an audience 
in a io.ir, and has proved a sure hit as played under the author's management. 



AN OLD PLANTATION NIGHT. 

PRICE, 25 CENTS. 

A musical and dramatic entertainment for four male and four female characters, 
forming a double quartet. This is not a negro minstrel show, contains no boisterous 
jokes nor conundrums, and is without a vestige of " Tambo " or "Bones," or the 
conventional stage darkey. It is a simple but vivid representation of life " in de 
quarters," embellished with song and story illustrating some of the quaint super- 
stitions and frolicsome merry-makings of the mellow-voiced race. Thoroughly 
bright throughout, the text is uncommonly well written, and the r-uccession of inci- 
dents skilfully contrivi d, while its transitions from grave to gay can be made wonder- 
fully effective by intelligent actors. The scene, a simple interior, can be arranged en 
any platform without set .••cenery ; some old garments and a little discarded finery 
will suffice for the costumes ; the " properties " are few and simple, and the music is 
within the capacity of fairly good voices, such as any ordinary church choir contains. 
Wholly novel in conception, and singularly clever in arrangement. An Old Planta- 
tion Night will prove highly acceptable to audiences of all kinds in church, school, 
lyceum, or parlor. 

Synopsis: Uncle 'Rastus and Thomas Jefferson. — " Befo' de Wah." — "Swing 
Low, Sweet Chariot." — An influx of visitors. — Aunt Marthy's Story of the little 
possum. — The rabbit cross. — T^imber Jim. — The Sunflower Song. — The stylishness of 
some folks. — The little white grat on the mountain — "The Gospel Train." — Polly 
and the screech-owl. — A husking bee. — The Corn Song. — Little Aaron's battlements. 
— Old Dan Tucker. 

ig^" Cof>ics 0/ the above will he mailed, fiost-paid, to any address, on receipt 
of the specified prices. ^Jg:% 

HAROLD ROORBACH, Publisher, 9 Murray St., New York. 



H. THEYRE SMITH'S PLAYS. 

Price, 1 5 Cents Each. 

A CASE FOR EVICTION. One male and two female characters— light comedian, 
lady comedian and servant. Interior scene ; modern costumes ; time of playing, 
thirty minutes. This breezy little play is so true to life that everybody enjoj s it 
and, as a matter of course, it is always highly successful. A young husband and 
wife have a visitor who makes them twice glad — glad when he comes and doubly 
glad when he goes. The difficulties that the young couple experience in getting 
rid of their guest, without hurting his feelings, are laughable in the extreme. 
The guest, by the way, is heard but not seen—^\\\c\\ fact gives rise to much 
comical business. No scenery whatever is required; and as every-day co tumes 
are worn, the piece can be produced successfully without the slightest trouble. 

CUT OFF WITH A SHILLING. Two male and one female characters- 
juvenile man, old man and lady comedian. Scene, a sitting-room ; modern cos- 
tumes ; time of playing, forty-five minutes. An exceedingly popular play, offering 
unusual opportunities for good acting. A young man who has married without 
his uncle's consent is cut off with a shilling. Hut the uncle meets, his nephew's 
wife — not knowing who she is — and is so captivated by her wit, grace and beauty 
that, on learning who she is, he changes his mind, reinstates his nephew and 
allows the latter to return the shilling. The dialogue is witty, the action rapid, 
and the situations effective. 

A HAPPY PAIR. One male, one female character — both light comedy. Scene, a 
nicely furnished room ; modern costumes ; time of playing, forty-five minutes. A 
brisk little play, full of action and giving numerous opportunities for clever work. 
While entirely free from all "low-comedy" business, it contains enough humor 
to be highly diverting. The quarrels of the "happy pair," and their final recon- 
ciliation can not fail to pler.se, and the play is sure to give entire satisfaction 
either in the parlor or as a " curtain raiser" or afterpiece. 

MY LORD IN LIVERY. Four male and three female characters— light comedian, 
low comedian, old man, utility, iadj' comedian and two walking ladies. Parlor 
scene ; modern costumes ; time of playing, fifty minutes. An unusually bright 
piece brimming over with wit and humor. The three young ladies who permit a 
comic servant to meet them on terms of equalit)' under the belief that he is a 
nobleman m.isquerading like themselves — the happy-go-lucky young nobleman 
who is mistaken for a burglar — the comical old butler — ail have a vast deal of 
laughable by-play and business. This play w^s a pronounced success in New 
York, and has been presented to crowded houses in all the principal cities of this 
country. The ease with which it may be staged, and the invariable success which 
attends it, make My Lord in Livery peculiarly adapted to the use of amateurs. 

UNCLE'S WILL. Two male and one female characters — juvenile lead, old man 
and lady comedian. Scene, a sitting-room ; costumes, modern ; time of playing, 
thirty minutes. This brilliant little play is a prime favorite in both Europe and 
America, and is admirably' adapted to the use of amateurs. The wit flashes 
like a diamond, and the dainty bits of humor scattered here and there keep up a 
constant ripple of pleased excitement. Each character is a star part. The dash- 
ing young naval officer, the comical old man — in which Mr. Davidge made a 
pronounced hit at the Fifth Avenue Theatre, New York— and the bright and 
spirited young lady, all are first class and worthy of the best talent in any dramatic 
club. 

WHICH IS WHICH. Three male, three female characters — juvenile man, old 
man, utility, two juvenile ladies and old woman. Scene, a studio ; costumes, 
modern ; time of playing, fifty minutes. Excellent and much patronized by 
amateurs. The amusing perplexities of the poor artist, who can not tell which of 
his visitors is the heiress and which h-r penniless friend— who mistakes one for 
the other — who makes love to the rich girl, su{)posing that she is poor, and deter- 
mines to marry her in spite of her supposed poverty — and who finally discovers 
that he has proposed to the heiress after all — combine to make this a delightful 

play- 

^^^ Any of the abm'c will be sent by >iinil, postpaid^ to any address, on receipt 
of the annexed prices. As there are several editions of these plays offered for sale, 
gyod^ bad and indifferent, purchasers will consult their own interests, when order- 
ing, by specify ing Kookuach' s. edition. .^,^1 

HAROLD ROOBACH, Publisher, 9 Murray St,, New York- 



BY FORCE OF IMPULSE. 

A. Orama in Kive Acts, by H. V. VooT. 



Price, 15 Cents. 



Nine male, three female characters, z//z.; Leading and Second Juvenile Men, 
Old Man, Genteel Villain, Walking Gentleman, First and Second Light Comedians, 
Heavy Character, Low Comedian, Leading and Second Juvenile Ladies and Comiv, 
Old' Maid. Time of playing. Two hours and a half. 



SYNOPSIS 

Act L Love vs. Impulse. — Doller- 
clutch's office. — A fruitless journey, a 
heap of accumulated business and a 
chapter of unparalleled impudence. — 
News from the front. — A poor girl's 
trouble and a lawyer's big heart. — Hil- 
da's sad story.—" I '11 see this thing 
through if it costs me a fortune!" — A 
sudden departure in search of a clue — 
The meeting of friends.— One of nature's 
noblemen.— Maitland betrays his secret 
by a slip of the tongue.— The ball at 
Beachwood. — Two spooneys.fresh from 
college.lose their heads and theu- hearts. 
— "Squashed, by Jupiter! ' — Trusting 
innocence and polished villainy. — The 
interrupted tryst. — An honest' man's 
avowal. — A picture of charmmg simph- 
city. — Murdell and Hilda meet face to 
face. — "I dare you to make another 
victim !" — A scoundrel's discomfiture. — 
Tableau. 

Act n. The Separation. — The Mait- 
land homestead. — Anastasia's doubts. — 
A warm welcome and its icy reception. 
— Forebodings and doubts. — Father and 
son. — Searching questions. — A domestic 
storm and a parent's command. — A 
foiled villain's wrath. — Enlisting for the 
war. — The collapse of the cowards.— 
" It '3 no use, 'D')lphy, the jig 's up !" — 
Hilda's sympathy and Adrienne's silent 
despair. — The result of impulse. — The 
father pleads for his son.— Anastasia 
and Doilerclutch. — Coriolanus comes to 
grief. — Good and bad news. — Husband 
and wife.— Reginald demands an ex- 
planation. — A hand without a heart. — 
The separation. — A new recruit. — Too 
late; the roll is signed. — Tableau. 

Act III. Duty vs. Impulse. — Four 
vears later. — A camp in the army. — 
Longings. — "Only six miles frcmi 
home!"— The skeleton in the closet. — 
A father's yearning for his child. — A 
woman-hater in love. — Dollerclutch's 
dream. — A picture of camp life and fun. 
— Coriolanus has his revenge. — News 
from home. — Doilerclutch makes a big 
find. "Eureka!" — Proofs of Hilda's 
parentage and marriage. — A happy old 



OF EVENTS. 

lawyer. — "I '11 take them to Hilda!" — 
Detailed for duty. — A soldier's tempta- 
tion. — The sentinel deserts his post. — 
The snake in the grass. — "At last, I can 
humble his pride 1 " 

Act IV. The Reconciliation and 
Sequel. — At Reginald's home. — News 
from the army. — " Grant is not the man 
to acknowledge defeat 1" — Adrienne and 
Hilda. — False pride is broken. — The re- 
conciliation. — " Will Reginald forgive 
me?" — Doilerclutch brings joy to Hil- 
da's heart. — "You are the daughter of 
Morris Maitland !" — The stolen docu- 
ments and the snake in the grass. — 
"Hane me if I don't see this thing 
through !" — A letter to the absent one. — 
Face to face. — The barrier of pride 
swept down. — "Reginald, I love you; 
come back!"— The happy reunion.- An 
ominous cloud. — "I have deserted my 
post ; the penalty is death. I must re- 
turn ere my absence is discovered !" — 
The wolf m the sheepfold. — A wily 
tempter foiled. — A villain's rage. — 
" Those words have sealed your doom !" 
— The murder and the escape. — 
Doilerclutch arrives too late. — The pur- 
suit. 

Act V. Divine Impulse. — In camp. — 
Maitland on duty. — The charge of de- 
sertion and the examination. — "I knew 
not what I did !" — The colonel's lenity. — 
Disgrace. — News of Adrienne's murder 
is brought to camp. — Circumstantial 
evidence fastens the murder upon Reg- 
inald.— The court-martial. — Convicted 
and sentenced to be shot. — Preparations 
tor the execution. — ' God knows I am 
innocent! " — Doilerclutch arrives in the 
nick of time. — "If you shoot that man 
you commit murder!" — The beginning 
of the end. — " Adnenne lives!" — A vil- 
lain's terror. — Adrienne appears on the 
scene. — " There is the attempted assas- 
sin !" — Divine impulse. — The reward of 
innocence and the punishment of vil- 
lainy. — Good news. — " Hurrah, the war 
is over; Lee has surrendered to Grant!" 
— The happy denouemeni and yinale. — 
Tableau. 



C»fiies mailed, post-paid, to any address on rtceipt of the advertised price. 

HAROIvD ROORBACH, F'tJiblisliLer, 

9 »IUIt.R.AY SX„ I^JEIJV YORK. 



NEW ENTERTAINMENTS. 

THE JAPANESE WEDDING 

A costume pantomime representation of the Weddinsr Ceremnnv .-,', T^^^ u- i^tc 

The company consists of the br.de and groom t^eirpa'em^;^^^^"^^':^ and 
the oflic.at.ng personage appropriately called the - Go-between '' There are 
various formalities inch.d.ng salaams, tea-drinking, eating rice-cakes and elvW 

Price, 25 Cents represented by young ladies alone, if preferred. 

A TV .^^ EVENING WITH PICKWICK. 

^f"^'J^^, Dramatic Dickens Entertainment.— Introduces the PickwiVk C]uh 

^^ ^^^^.'^^^G WITH COPPERFIELD. 

A L-iterary and Dramatic Dickens Entertainment.-Introduces Mrs CoonerfieM 
Davie, the Peggotys the Murdstones, Mrs. Gummidge, Litt e Em'iTBark^' 
Betsey Trotwood, Mr. Dick and his kite, Steerforth, Ihe C eaS fraddles 

pare, and are suitable for performance either on the platform or in the drawing room 

A M ■ , p- ■ '^"'^ GYPSIES' FESTIVAL. 

.ha. ,he3,^e|Snre;tSl"';epJi:nt-d°Sr,T:^ pTa1formr"p7S;T^rc'etj^' - 

THE COURT OF KING CHRISTMAS 

^ lKf.m™j„rr-™- hJtSrsSS^^^^ 

^|?fn'eprar°.trJ-.^l--r.tn"^h1'el^|l ^ ^ ^ EB 

f/m^; ' '^P'^r"'l^ ?" -^ P'^^'fo'-'"' ^^ithout troublesome prop;rtres The coJ: 
^mes are simple the incidental music and drill movements graceful" and easilv 

rverale ' a"'''^'"^"' "•"'°"i'"u°J^'y2°°^'^"d '^'^ whole thinTquUe above th J 
si7 to ^Ivi^. ? T" ^''°" °^ l}"'^ entertainment will cause the young folks frorJ 
SIX to .sixty, f.iirly to turn them.selves inside out with delieht and at the slm^ 
time, enforce the important moral of Peace and Good Will Price, accents 
RECENTLY PUBLISHED. 

^^^^^^^^^^^-^ 

^I^^JCfjSt^^u'^t^SLl^l.^i'if^^Ce-^^^^ 

female charac^r? T^m. ; ^^"^"^^^yf^^^-^^^^^ three acts. Eight male, three 
BY FORCE OF IMPULSE i^",'' ^'"^ ■ ^f' ^""'J5 Cents. 

tn^^rirr^S^^^^^^tc^:'' '^ ^--'- ^°-^^->e characters. 
chaTa^ct^;s''T^?e^v?^'''^^^^ g^-^^^' A farce in one act. Six male 
SECOND Si'ght' I'^i'-'y. '"'""'^s- Price, 15 Cents. 

^ Jfr.'' Timi^'Je\oi^.%^;?c^i^^s"^&t'k'tr"^ ^^'- ''°"'- "^^'^' °"^ ^^"^^'^ '^^-- 

c1ia™^s''\i^e^?,?l^°- A, ^---*- ^i-<= -ts. Four male, four femal. 
^-iUFrtciers. 1 ime, one hour and a quarter. Price, 15 cents. 

''^^^J.rLf/Xt^'''^^ ^' '"''' ^^ """'^' >^^//azV, /. any address, on receipt 

HAROLD ROORBACH, Publisher. 9 Murray St.. New York. 



LIBRftRY OF CONGRESS 




H ELM ER' 

ACTOR'S ]v\AKE-L '^""^^^J^^^^^ • 

A Practical and Systematic Guide to the Art o/ Making up /or the Stag*. 



PRICE, 25 CENTS. 



With exhaustive treatment on the Use of Theatrical 
AViGS and Bkards, The Make-up and its requisite materials, the 
different features and their management, typical character. 
Masks, etc. With Special Hints to Ladies. Designed for the 
USE OF Actors and Amateurs, and for both Ladies and Gentle- 
men. Copiously Illustrated. 

CONTENTS. 

I. Theatrical Wigs.— The Style and Form of Theatrical Wigs 
and Beards. The Color and Shading of Theatrical Wigs and Beards. 
Directions for Measuring the Head. To put on a Wig properly. 

n. Theatrical Beards. — How to fashion a Beard out of crep6 
hair. How to make Beards of Wool. The growth of Beard simu- 
lated. 

HL The Make-up. — A successful Character Mask, and how to 
make it. Perspiration.during performance, how removed, 

IV. The Make-up Box. — Grease Paints. Grease paints in 
sticks; Flesh Cream ; Face Powder; How to use face powder as a 
liquid cream ; The various shades of face powder. Water Cos- 
m^iique. Nose Putty. Court Plaster. Cocoa Butter. CrSp6 Hair 
.a?id Prepared Wool. Grenadine. Dorin's Rouge. "Old Man's" 
Rouge. "Juvenile" Rouge. Spirit Gum. Email Noir. Bear's 
Grease. Eyebrow Pencils. Artist's Stomps. Powder Puffs. Hares' 
Eeet. Camels'-hair Brushes. 

V. The Features and their Treatment. — The Eyes : blind- 
ness. The Eyelids. The Eyebrows : How to paint out an eyebrow or 
moustache ; How to paste on eyebrows ; How to regulate bushy eye- 
brows. The Eyelashes : To alter the appearance of the eyes. The 
Ears. The Nose : A Roman nose; How to use the nose putty; A 
pug nose ; An African nose ; a large nose apparently reduced in size. 
The INIouih and Lips : a juvenile mouth ; an old mouth ; a sensuous 
mouth ; a satirical mouth ; a one-sided mouth ; a merry mouth ; A 
sullen mouth. The Teeth. The Neck, Arms, Hands and Finger- 
nails : Fingernails lengthened. Wrinkles: Friendliness and SuUen- 
ness indicated by wrinkles. Shading. A Starving character. A 
Cut in the Face. A Thin Face Made Fleshy. 

VI. Typical Character Masks.— The Make-up for Youth x 
Dimpled cheeks. Manhood. Middle Age. Making up as a Drunk- 
ard : One method ; another method. Old Age. Negroes. Moors. 
Chinese. King Lear, Shylock, Macbeth. Richelieu. Statuary. 
Clowns. 

VII. Special Hints to Ladies, — The Make-up. Theatrical 
■Wigs and Hair Goods. 

Sent by mail, postpaid, to any address, on receipt of the price. 

HAROLD ROORBACH, Publisher, 

9 Murray StreeA, Xew York. 




Hollinger Corp. 
pH 8.5 



